Only 11 weeks to Christmas.......

It is exactly 11 weeks today, until Christmas. I was amazed to be told this. I wonder where this year has gone in fact, some days I have to remember what year we are in as these years seem to be flying past us.
I always love Christmas, most especially the lead up to Christmas Day. I have always tried to make our Christmas gathering for my immediate family, very special and so far the immediate family have loved each and every effort. Before K and A had partners there was just the five of us as B was with us then. As I sit and type this blog I am reminded of the first Christmas after he passed away.
We had to move house immediately after B died. It was a matter of a month or so because the house had been sold. That first Christmas was heart breaking for us as we were still reeling from all that had happened. I can look back now and say from personal experience that people expect grieving parents to get over it and get on with life. They do not want to know nor understand the pain parents are experiencing. Poor J was so sad at that time that it seemed impossible for him to enjoy any of the festivities but he marched on regardless. My sister made a thoughtless comment on that Christmas Day that after five months he should get "get over it" especially as B had not lived in this new house. I remember thinking that people simply have no idea, not even an incling. They have no idea of the depth and breath of such pain; the memories (regardless of new homes or moving house) and the love do not simply end with a funeral. Then only a few weeks later a caring friend sent me an email with the following......


The time of concern is over. No longer are we asked how we're doing. Never are the names of our children mentioned to us. A curtain descends. The moment has passed. Life's slip from frequent recall. There are exceptions: close and compassionate friends, sensitive and loving family. Still look. Still ask. Still listen. Thank God for them. For most, the drama is over. The spotlight is off. Applause is silent.

But for us the play will never end. The effects on us are timeless. What can be said, you ask? Please say "their names" to us. Love does not die. Their names are written on our lives. You may feel that they are dead. We feel that they are of the dead and still they live. They ghost-walk our souls, beckoning in future welcome. You say, "They were our children"; we say "They are". Please say "their names" to us and say "their names" again. It hurts to bury their memory in silence. What they were in flesh is no longer with us. What they are in spirit stays within us always. They were of our past but they are part of our now. They are our hope for the future. Please understand we cannot forget. We would not even if we could.

We know that you cannot know, yesterday we were like you. Understand that we dwell in both flesh and spirit. We do not ask you to walk this road. The ascent is steep and the burden heavy. We walk it not by choice. We would rather walk it with them in the flesh, looking not to spirit worlds beyond. We are what we have to be. What we have lost, you cannot feel. What we have gained you may not see. Please say " their names" for they are alive. We will meet them again, although in many ways we've never parted. Their spirits play light songs, appear in sunrises and sunsets. They are real and shadow, they were and they are.

Please say "their names" to us and say "their names" again.
They are our children and we love them as we always did.
More each day.

"PLEASE, SAY THEIR NAMES"

- Written by an unknown author posted for all grieving parents -

When I first began to blog I made a decision not to dwell on B's passing but now I really feel it is very theraputic and from emails and comments from fellow blog readers, I know that others appreciate reading the experiencs as many times it may help them so J and I decided to occassionally add a blog that will include our B.

Getting back to Christmas...each year we have a christmas bauble made with Ben's name on it and the year it was made, and we buy a huge pack of ferrora roche chocolates ( his favourates) to share at our special family gatering. When the extended family have a Christmas celebration on Christmas Day we have our special family gathering on Christmas Eve. I am looking forward to it this year. I wonder how I can make it extra special for the six of us. Yes, there are six of us these days and of course, young B will be here in spirit, his bauble on the tree, his chocolates ready to serve with coffee after dinner.

Booderee National Park.....

J and I arrive at work each morning right on sunrise. We drive through Booderee National Park in order to access the base so each day there is often something different to watch as we arrive. One morning I stopped to allow an echidna to cross the road, he waddled across as fast as he could lol. Another morning I stopped to let some sea eagles finish picking at some road kill however, as soon as they realized that I was there they took flight. Most mornings we slow to take in the magnivicent views of Jervis Bay. There are few spots where one can view the base, te waters and the islands from the road way and the view is always worth slowing down for.

The first photo is of one of the kangaroos who are currently carrying tiny babies. This one was hanging over the top of it's mother's pouch taking in all of the activity around the base.

Sunrise is always beautiful here at Jervis Bay. Each day is different in one way or another but always breath taking. I hope that you enjoy my photos.

Some storm pics.....

A few photos taken during the May storms down at Ulladulla. The sheer power and force of the ocean is amazing. It sweeps and turns without notice and the waves can become huge all at once.

Happy Father's Day!!!!!!!!!

It has been one week since Father’s Day here in Australia. J and I have never encouraged a materialistic celebration of Mothers and Fathers Day but rather we have made it a time where our little family comes together to share some quality time over a meal, sometimes a picnic or even an evening out. I have always looked forward to these times and will continue to in the future.











This year we had Sunday lunch together and played cards in the afternoon, spent hours talking, laughing and planning. My son’s lovely girlfriend came as did my daughter’s wonderful young man. I sat back and viewed J while he enjoyed himself. He really is a good Dad, he is so full of love and compassion; a man who sees his glass as being half full rather than half empty. J has always had so much time for those around him, especially our children and their partners. I have always considered myself to be an extremely lucky woman to have found in him not only the love of my life but the person whom I am predestined to spend the rest of my life with. J keeps me grounded and reminds me of where we have come from and just how lucky we are.









He has always been remarkably encouraging, caring and fun loving to all of us throughout the years and to see the close relationship that he has with our children is a testament to that support. When you think about it, in the end all we will leave our children that is of any real value, are the memories and the love we gave to them during our lifetime.










So Father’s Day is really something very special in our home, it is a time to say thanks to Dad in a way he loves best, that is, having fun and enjoying quality time with him.
Happy Father’s Day J x

With the Greatest of Ease.......

Well I bet you can guess where we spent Saturday afternoon...yes thats right...we visited Stanwell Tops, just as the Hang gliders were setting up for a wonderful afternoon flying through the air with the greatest of ease. They were so graceful and made hang gliding look so easy. J and I sat back on the grass enjoying afternoon tea and watched many of them warming up and preparing to take off, or in their case....jumping off the side of the mountain. After several hours some heavy dark clouds rolled in from the south which made it time to head home.

Wind in the Willows

Sunday was a very windy day. The sounds of gusts blowing up began in the late afternoon of Saturday and all during the night it whipped up a fury to the point of it keeping us awake. By Sunday morning the noise continued to grow and it had the fearsome sound of immense fury crushing anything that got in it’s way. One could imagine an invisible force ripping through the national park and stripping the trees and ground of anything that could move….thank goodness that J and I were inside. Every now and then we could feel the vibrations all the way up through our arm chairs whilst we watched DVDs. However, it was not until Monday morning that we realized the full effects of those winds.

J and I arrived at work 5:30am. All along Jervis Bay rd. the debris was evident; like the wreckage of a plane strew for kilometers; the remains of trees lay everywhere. Entries and roadways through Jervis Bay National Park and Boodeeroo National Park were a mess. I watched in awe the enormous trees that must have survived decades and decades yet in one single evening, had been overturned and in some parts, completely snapped in two. Their huge roots exposed after many decades of keeping that tree upright. We simply could not fathom how powerful the winds had been. Upon entry into Cresswell my heart went out to those who tender so caringly, the grounds of the base. The golf course was laden with huge branches, shrubs and rubbish everywhere. The gardens were now devoid of their beautiful flowers and were replaced with bark and leaves in enormous quantities. Kangaroos carefully moved amongst the ruins and like us, seemed confused about the mess. The gusts had reached 115 kilometers-an-hour at times and the destructive winds left their mark everywhere. Our shop is in a protected area and thus, received no damage from the storm but the historic old boatshed down on the docks was destroyed, rafters and all. Many of the residents lost power and will not have it reconnected until Thursday. It would seem that mother nature was indeed upset about something. We watched as gardeners, personnel and volunteers organized the green rubbish into piles ready for the trucks to pick up.

Today was a beautiful day, the birds have returned and order has slowly returned as well. Many are still without power in their homes however, I guess if one compares the imposition of no power to those who are homeless in New Zealand due to earth quakes or those who are trying to save their homes from floods in Victoria, these winds are not so bad.

A Wet Day in Paradise.....

It poured rain all day, torrential to be exact . Even the kangaroos hopped off to find relief in the national park.
As J and I drove home this afternoon visability out towards the island was minimal. It is supposed to be like this for the next few days. The clouds appeared so low over the bay that I felt like holding a hand up to touch them. I guess that when living in the city we do not realize how much we miss out on amid tall buildings and lots of lights.